Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Three treasures

Tomorrow, I will be on my way to Brighton. And, the following day, early morning, it will be an operation in aprivate hospital. Nothing too serious. Part of me doesn't like it at all ( surgery, g.a, recovery time, risks...) and the other part could not care less. Funny mixed feelings. And always this good old experience of loss that made so far my English episode, eight years of it: loosing two marriages, daughter, father, friends, job, social recognition and "esteem", money and even a bit of my health. Existences I love seem to fly away.Chunks of the bloke falling off.

The way I sometimes see what is left of me ( don't worry, there is still a substantial amount of delusion and energy at work in here) is that I am a looser. And why would it be different? If I end up really disliking this place ( I-England) it is because it mirrors back the splendid and repetitive failure of any desperate attempt to make things work. This place is in fact a great place and a very skilled teacher. It shows the mad rat at it, the blind mouse. Of course, I wish I could sometimes take a rest, have a nap ( and that's why i'll fly to Japan soon, just a break). I wish I could allow the flow of life to carry this body-mind.

Nevertheless, I must say that I am so lucky. So lucky to be alive, to have met Buddhist practice in this lifetime. So fortunate to have met a teacher that opened my clouded eyes on the possibility of sitting and living differently. Since day one, Zazen and kesa never failed me. Even if I fail in my deluded practice, I can't really say I feel very lonely. Yes, I am alone, and alone with everything.

May be it takes all that I went through to understand why Shakyamuni's teaching is also called "the three treasures":

Alone with the ineffable, Buddha;

alone with life as a teacher, Dharma;

alone with all existences, Sangha.

Alone and together.


Blogger Michael said...

Best of luck to you, Pierre. I hope your hospital stay is a brief one and your recovery a speedy one.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Pierre Turlur said...

Thank you Michael.

Be well.

Bouddha bless.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Mike Cross said...

May you be enfolded in the warm embrace of a thousand angelic nurses.

May you be utterly alone, utterly free, utterly untroubled by others.

May your head go forward and up and your back stay back.

As you walk along Brighton sea-front, may you be totally liberated from the habit of walking like a duck!

With love.

2:57 AM  
Blogger Michael Tait said...

I have no doubt at all that you will be fine whatever your circumstances.

'Zazen and kesa never failed me' - a beautiful truth.

Never alone Pierre, sangha with you always in this eternity.

7:37 AM  
Blogger Pierre Turlur said...

Dear Michael, Mike and floating weed,

Back from the hospital already. Amazingly and surprinsingly easy. Still a fat duck.

Mike, thank you for your fearless exhortation ( I rather like the "angelic nurses" bit as you can guess)and your loving trust.

Thank you for your loving words, Floating weed, face of faceless, name of the nameless, with you always in This.

Thank you Michael, so brave and brave enough to say that you could do without all of this.

3:03 PM  

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