being...a wreck

Lone Wolf said...
Nishijima Thanks for sharing this information on the different philosopher and others who taught similar ideas to realism. I have found the differet interpretations of Buddhism to be quite complicated and confusing. So far I enjoy and sesne truth in the teachings you and Brad Warner speak. I have a question about Zazen.I hear in sitting one is not suppose to push thoughts away or follow thoughts. Just to sit straight in the lotus posture and and be aware. My question is what is the difference in thinking and just being aware of thinking with about being caught in it when practicing Zazen?

Pierre Turlur said...
Lone Wolf,With a single O. Sorry if I offended your animal pride. Your question is answered by Dogen in the first version of Fukanzazengi: "When something arises in the mind, just wake up. Wake up and it will vanish".Identifying with thoughts is the common delusion process( mine, everybody's), what you call "being caught" . Dogen's invitation is to step out, another way to understand the meaning of: "backward step of turning light around and refecting it". (popular version of Fukan-zazengi)Waking up to thoughts coming and going ( my usual mental garbage), waking up to tensions and physical hindrances ( how do I get in the way of Zazen itself)is, in my limited view, presumably wrong for most of you, the answer to your question ( for I am not a punk Zen master or an old and venerable japanese roshi). Realism is acceptance of things as they are. Seing through reality, one ceases, at least for a moment, to try, grasp, manipulate, organize, distort the ineffable. In this moment of my life as I write these lines, I am going through the most difficult patch so far, great stimulus of pain and illusion. And believe me, I am nobody to tell you what to do for sometimes I am but a single flow of tears. If I say so, it is just to make clear that this is the best opportunity to practice what Dogen says and notice how much I am not letting it happen. My friend and teacher was reminding me yesterday the direct and uncompromising meaning of Jujuyo Zanmai, acccepting and using the Self. How could I express it differently? The point is not to become better at living and sitting, it is to accept that we don't understand anything. It is to see with the beloved eyes, through the eyeballs of Bodhidharma. When Bodhidharma sees, there is no Bodhidharma. Bodhidharma is not wawre of himself. Not knowing is not a super natural sate or special enlightenment. It is a child-like state, our natural birth right, not tainted by any trying, theory, agenda. When I am a wreck, it is very close. When I am a wreck, there is no more pretending, posing or whatever. I am a wreck. The most exquisite and powerful poems of Rumi and Hafiz in the Sufi tradition say this over and over again. True love is found in dust, tears and longing. In dust, tears and longing with nothing elsa added, to dilute it or transform it.Wake up and it will vanish. What will vanish then? Thoughts? No, they come back, it is the natural stuff of the mind. Delusion? No, it is very sticky too. What might vanish is the illusion that we have to do something, become somebody, get out of here. And when this vanishes, we invite surrender.Who are you?I don't know.

Fukanzazengi, un vieux-jeune rouleau.

On tient trop souvent pour acquises et sures, les traces les plus fugaces. Le chemin des nuages, le poids des pas dans la neige, le pli de l’eau sous la patte de l’oiseau. Tiens, d’un texte. Il s’agit d’un vieux rouleau couvert de ces mêmes traces Un homme dans un Japon que l’on tient pour lointain penche son corps et sous l’impulsion de la main, le pinceau frappe le vide, glisse, accélère et ralentit soudain. Des images sous le chuintement imperceptible de l’encre. L’homme parle de et depuis un silence vidé de forme, dépourvu de nom. Des sons qu’on entend rarement dans la bouche fraîche ou pourrie des autres hommes. Des syllabes venues d’une bouche plus vaste, des lèvres de la cloche, de la gueule de la porte, de la gorge des montagnes, de la langue-lune. Saisons, pluies, roues, bois, oiseaux, océans. Voix. Il parle d’une fleur qu’on tourne et triture entre ses doigts, sans rien dire. Présence d’un homme a la présence tout alentour. : « Alors qu’a présent nous la recherchons, la vérité pénètre originellement toute chose ”. Ou que le regard porte s’élève le cercle de l’ainsité. Pas un seul coin de cet univers, pas une poussière qui échappe à ce qui s’avance ainsi, tel quel, sans qu’il soit besoin de rien ajouter ou soustraire.Le moine Dogen qui éclabousse de traces le rouleau que nous appelons Fukanzazengi ne parle pas plus d’hier que de demain. Ses mots nous sont contemporains. Le temps de Dogen et le nôtre, cet ici et l’ailleurs coïncident absolument. Le rouleau se tache d’une même manière, identique a celle du texte-temps de Sozan, de notre propre respiration dans le maintenant : la vérité est déjà réalisée. L’univers est déjà réalisé. Assis dans l’ainsi, tout est calme et lumineux.Mais gardons-nous de conclure trop hâtivement que cette lumière et ce calme sont quelque part devant nous ou même enfouis en nous-mêmes. Rien n’est ici intérieur ou extérieur. La nature, la ville, l’ami, le maître ou le temple que tu visites, tout cela c’est toi, rien que toi. Tes mains et ta bouche et ton crâne et ta vie resplendissent à ton insu. Cette lumière et ce calme, c’est toi. Tu es ce que tu cherches. Quoique tu fasses, il est impossible d’échapper à cela, tu ne vas ni ne viens, ne voyage ni demeure immobile, un pas vers le Nord est un pas vers le Sud car ou que tu ailles c’est toi et toujours toi. Cette joie de reconnaître qu’il n’y a rien a quitter, a changer ou a conquérir, le moine Dogen l’appelle Jijuyo zanmai, le naturel état d’équilibre en lequel on reçoit et on emploie le soi., le soi est reçu et manifesté. Pendant longtemps tu as voulu croire que s’asseoir était affaire de volonté. Que tu devais essayer de maintenir le dos droit, de pousser ciel et terre, d’arc-bouter les reins, de tendre la nuque, de forcer le souffle, de basculer le bassin, de congédier les illusions. Tu pensais qu’il te fallait copier les rites d’un clergé féodal et arrogant. Ce faisant, tu adoptais une splendide rigidité physique et idéologique, t’appliquant à faire japonais. Tu avais le zazen militant et militaire, le doigt sur la couture du kesa et le kyosaku prêt a fracasser la tronche de Mara. En fait, tu existais déjà dans le cercle de jijuyo zanmai, sans pourtant le laisser te tracer. Tu répétais « rejeter le corps et l’esprit » comme une de ces rengaines sorties d’une fausse boite à fromage. Tu te tartinais des kusen avec de copieuses formules. Tu avais simplement oublié que s’asseoir ne sert à rien, qu’il n’y a pas d’éveil hors de la pratique en laquelle l’éveil s’évanouit de lui-même. La ou il n’y a plus de bouddhiste ou de Bouddha, de moine, de zazen, de mien ou de tien, plus rien, rien que la présence. Naturel état d’équilibre. Ce que tu as appris ? Pas grand chose. Trois fois rien. Premier rien : Emprunter les mœurs et les manières des indigènes nippons, te faire baptiser roshi maître ou sensei, bâtir de temples et rêver a de nombreuses Sangha, passer a la télé et faire le sage, chercher l’onction et la bénédiction des huiles de la Sotoshu… tout cela c’est fleurs dans les yeux, comme on pourrait le traduire dans un langage plus dharmique et direct : prendre des vessies pour la transmission de la Lampe. Second rien : Que s’asseoir, c’est voir au travers de ta propre illusion, voir à quel point tu te leurres, ouvrir les yeux sur ta pratique pourrie. Ne plus te faire d’illusion sur toi-même et surtout ne plus te beurrer la gueule avec de pseudo réalisations. Troisième rien : Tout ce qui précède n’a pas de réelle importance. Cesse de réagir. Laisse tomber. Tu peux vivre et t’asseoir sans faire, sans essayer, sans atteindre. Parce que c’est comme ça, juste comme ça. Qu’il n’est pas nécessaire de s’emparer des traces. Oublie la neige, les nuages et l’eau. Laisse tomber tout ça. Laisse le vieux rouleau prendre vie. Le fukanzazengi, c’est toi.

Bukkyo, WOR(L)D

reallynotimportant said...

Or more succintly "Just Be".When you can just Be then doing the right thing follows 'naturally'.To ride a bike well on a poor road or to ride a bike fast requires that you be in the present moment and in harmony with the bike. It is not so much that you feel how the tyres are gripping the road it is more a case that you are the tyres gripping the road. Words don't help :-)
7:00 AM
Mike Cross said...
The sixth sense in Buddhism is the compound sense of "proprioception," centred on the vestibular system. Even though my sensory appreciation of the proprioceptive phenomenon of sitting, is faulty, 2 + 2 = 4. Even though my sensory appreciation of the proprioceptive phenomenon of sitting, is faulty, the intention just to sit is the intention just to sit.In order to teach to others the true meaning of "non-doing," or "just sitting," it is necessary to have understanding like this.
5:10 PM
Pierre Turlur said...
Reallynotimportant,I would like to make a distinction here. You write that words don't help. You invite us to just be. Even better, you invite us to be the tyres gripping the road. It does sound as if you reject intellectual expression, words, and prefer the pure realm of being. I was a scholar for many years, busy teaching in Uni and climbing the ladder of knowledge. This was pure arrogance. I ended up burning my library, trashing my books and giving up the idea of getting somewhere being drunk with words of power. If you talk about these words, I agree. I should say that it is not about words but where they come from. Words in good poetry, words of the beloved ones, the lover and the friend, words of Dogen, Hongzhi, Nishijima, Cross, are all precious to me. They help me, carry me, direct me, inspire me. Words also bloom in presence. My favorite poems, Sufi or short in their form, are flowers of emptiness. Words may come from the open world of allowing, reminding us where we belong and that we always belong, words will take us to silence, and from silence words may arise. These words are true. As I sit, sometimes the intention is expressed in words, sometimes in images, sometimes the pure singing of birds is my call. The chapter Bukkyo in Shobogenzo is very clear about this. Thw word and world are one, not two.Just being is a nice direction. In order to allow ourselves to just be, they are many obstacles to just see. Noticing tensions, delusions, intention to grasp is my practice. Fooling myself thinking, be cool, it is OK, is misleading. What means being in harmony? If you know, teach me, because I don't know. I am too happy to laugh at my own mess ( and cry sometimes too).I humbly think that what we guys do ( Mike and a few others) is to be increasingly aware of our shortcomings so we don't practice them over and over again.Just be sounds nice. What is the meaning of "just"? What is extra? What has to be dropped and taken away? What has to be inhibited? GasshoTetsuten PS: Tonight, I will be playing my flute in London in St James Church for the poems of Rumi and Hafiz. Praise to the beloved and his words!...

What Buddhism isn't

Another suggestion. What Buddhism isn't?I know very little about Buddhism, but I know that it is not my body-mind locked in a frozen sitting spasm (my good old habit), that it is not about me thinking I have got it all right and everybody else has got it all wrong ( my typical viewpoint ) It is not about the truth of just sitting when "I" am in the way and loose track of the endgainer that is always too close, closer than my nose.It is not about me bragging that I started sitting 30 years ago and that I am this and that.It is about beginning over and over again, everytime.Reality? A clown with a big red nose falling, falling.So, who is sitting? Am I sitting zen or is it zen sitting me?

Zen and AT

Jules said...
Pierre Turlur wrote: So, please, take his challenge seriously. Why don't you try to show all of us what is right?Or even better, take it somewhere else, like to one of Mike Cross' blogs. This is Nishijima's blog about Zen Buddhism. Anyone who is interested in the Alexander technique can find mountains of information through Google or Wikipedia, or buying Alexander's books. If I was selling Turnip Twaddlers(tm) I wouldn't spam every post in your blog with comments about them. Even if your blog was about turnips, which it's not. It would be rude.
3:31 AM
Mike Cross said...
Nishijima Roshi taught me that Buddhism is not a religion but a philosophical search. A search for the truth. He taught me to search not only in the narrow confines of Zen Buddhist temples and Zen Buddhist writings but in books of western philosophy, and books of physiology. Above all he taught me to trust myself totally to the practice of Zazen, with no holds barred, and let others judge my actions as good or bad, polite or rude. In return I served him for many years in his effort to translate Shobogenzo into English. So I think I deserve to have my say on his blog, and am grateful to have the opportunity to do so. I am very grateful that Nishijima Roshi has included my webpage on his own links. My Zazen life brought me to the Alexander Technique. I wholeheartedly believe that FM Alexander re-discovered the secret of Zen for our time. I am not a veteran, either of Nishijima Roshi's Buddhism or of the Alexander Techique. God forbid that anyone should judge either Way by my immature reactions. But is it forbidden for me, just because I am still immature in my Buddhist practice, to proclaim my wholehearted belief,in the truth of FM Alexander's discoveries? Who are you to tell Alexander Teacher to take his comments elsewhere? Who the hell are you? What service have you performed for Buddhism? What have you given up for Buddhism?
5:27 AM
Pierre Turlur said...
Dear Jules, Quite an interesting metaphor ( it happens that I am very familiar with vegetables, as I work in a supermarket), unfortunately Buddhism is not for sale like turnips. No zazen on shelves. I think you think that you know what Zen Buddhism is. That is the only real problem. Don't worry, it is also mine. Good old arrogance. Your belief is getting in the way. Let me just invite you to experience an Alexander Technique lesson and then you might be able to understand the difference between sitting as fixation and sitting as a process. Better, you'll be able to experience the difference between the same and the identical. That subtle difference is a wonderful direction that all Buddhist patriarchs have transmitted: the practice of the ineffable, suchness. In real sitting there are no differences between Zen and AT, for the simple reason that there is no Zen and AT anymore! I remember writing this poem for Nishijima Roshi:"Face to face.Mind in Mind. No trace is left.Fish swimming. Birds flying. Endless water and sky. The old Gudo calls it the no direction of ten directions "The rudeness, Jules, is to assume that we understand. You are rude, Jules even if every fiber of your being feels that this Mike Cross is an absolute disgrace. We are always looking for traces,beliefs and gospels. Dogen wrote Genjokoan for guys like you and me: an invitation for us to release the grip. We bring along many expectations, and the invitation is to drop all of them on the cushion. One you can always start with is the one about zazen and goody-goody behaviour. The real dragon is quite fierce and without mercy. It kills my-your-everybody's stupidity on the spot.Come on, Jules, have a go! wear the kesa, sit, listen to birds ( Kannon's activity) and as Sekito Kisen says in his Song of the Grass-Roof hermitage:(...)let go of hundreds of years and relax completely.And if you want, we'll talk about it again.

Philosophy of action

We should be grateful to Nishijima Roshi for this amazing clarification of Buddha's teaching. At the same time, it is altogether so easy to fool ourselves and think we have caught the mouse of zazen when we are just playing old records, viewing old films and chewing old thoughts. Good old cats. I have seen too many zen zombies at it, nazi-like priests behaving like army guys, not really making the difference between reaction and action. The real question is :where does action come from? Is this action a byproduct of our favorite patterns or beliefs or is it this unknown springing and falling like blossoms, snow, blue mountains and rivers? True action is only possible if i am not in the way. How can I be sure I am not in the way? The more I sit, the more I am aware of fake action in this body-mind, and it does make you a bit more humble. At least, I become a bit more aware about the risk of becoming another military zen bloke.

Bodhidharma and Wu

We all remember the good old story of master Bodhidharma meeting the emperor WU, it goes roughly as follows:"What is the highest meaning of the holy truths?" asks the emperorBodhidharma says: "Vast emptiness, nothing holy"The angry monarch asks: "Who is facing me?"Bodhidharma answers: "I don't know"There is, in my limited opinion, nothing more relevant to the actual debate. These two voices can be heard now, in you-me-everybody. They arise in the same being. One is the voice eager to get a good catch, to fish a good answer or a good zen teacher, that voice is led by the sole agenda of comforting itself, it is looking for anything that will just legitimate it. The voice of blind reaction. Arrogant, and when challenged, angry. Sounds familiar to me. The other voice is not trying to serve a plan, play a part,folllow a pre-established pattern, "nothing holy" means nothing can be taken for granted. Nothing to claim, no past to worship, no idol to carve in space and time, no posture cast in stone. The emptiness is also the space that allows reality to arise. This is the voice of action, humble, open, dynamic as opposed to the voice of reaction full of itself. And as soon as we hear and notice in our life-sitting the voice of Wu, the other voice is not far away. Quite close actually. But it is not up to us to decide, otherwise, we instantly kill its freedom, freeze its natural spring and flow. As soon as we think:" I am getting close" the patriarch crosses the river and sit without us.As long as we keep an eye on Wu (who), we don't have to worry about the other guy. true action takes place when these feet cross the Yangtse and this body-mind faces the wall.

finger and Moon, words and reality

I would like to make a simple suggestion: sometimes the finger points at the moon ( what you seem to describe), sometimes the moon points at the finger, sometimes finger and moon merge in one, sometimes they both fall away. OK. I can't agree more with you, the truth has to be experienced. But what kind of truth, or rather what experience of it? I f you talk about the truth of the truth, I have a difficulty with that. I prefer to say that what I meet eveytime I sit is the truth of how wrong I am, pure, simple, undiluted. What I face in the process of sitting is the resistance to a natural and balanced state of being. That's why I cannot hide my own confusion behind the false assumption that I have got it ( Sorry Jules if I could not make it clear enough for you). The truth is the increased awareness of a very rigid and stiff sitting practice. Having X years of zen experience, being approved by X or Y, being this and that, all that blablabla...fall down. The true state of zazen is unexperienced, in the sense that you-me-anybody is an absolute beginner or... a splendid fake. And that's it. No other options. again, Dogen never gave any precise physiological description of sitting zen, he knew too well that the key is not to fix the body in order to fix the mind ( what is practised everywhere, in almost every single zendo of our planet). The secret is to give up recipe and secrets and just allow the right thing to do itself. He called it Jujiyu zanmai in Bendowa, using and receiving the self. The secret is, in the process of sitting, to become aware of what is, of how far we are from it rather than fooling ourselves and others. A final suggestion: I may be wrong but I feel some prejudice against intellectualism and words in your comment. Of course, if you follow the beautiful metaphor of finger and moon, then you end up thinking that zazen cannot be expressed as such by words. reality on one side against a mere picture of it (sounds familiar in Western and platonic philosophy). But if you drop your preconceived ideas about ideas and reality, fingers and moon, yo might as well realize that what was pointing all along with that finger what the moon itself. When the moon points to the moon, then fingers get enlightened.

Just sit

This is simple. All you need is a human body-mind and a cushion. You just sit. The difficulty is the "just". Everytime, I find that I add something to it, what Mike Cross calls: "an intention to achieve". It can be anything really, from "get it right" to " I'll sit for an hour or more". For this practice, there is no recipe, no trick, no secret. Nothing. It leaves you in a very open-vulnerable space and takes you nowhere. Or rather, it takes you everytime to the very human that tries hard, avoids at all cost, judges everything. It puts you in front of the shadow. Who is watching the shadow?